An Eyeful

I love living in Florida and being able to wear white year round. Yes, we get to break that rule and proudly do so often. We also get to wear delightful flowing fabrics like linen and seersucker without even the bat of an eye. And until a few Sundays ago at brunch I through everyone knew the rules of wearing white. Flesh toned undergarments please! And if it’s cheap & white it is going to be see through to be see-through. A thicker and generally higher thread count should do the trick. I generally pull the fabric over my hand with spread out fingers and if I can see too much – I won’t even try it on.

I thought this was common knowledge of those who wear linen and thinner fabrics. Apparently I was wrong. And so was she. So very wrong.

This girl who I already have a poor opinion of (animal hater who was horrible to a friend of mine) slaunters into the place where I’m having brunch. Looking pretty rough from the night before – but I’ll give her a pass. It’s Sunday morning. Anyway, we lock eyes and she scurries into the next room over. As soon as she’s gone, I notice my party all has an identical facial expression: Shock to see her and disgust at the fact that her white linen shorts were SO see-through, you could see all of her business. To add insult to injury, her shorts were so tight that a permanent wedgie was created to give that lovely appearance of her ass eating the shorts.

After that the only topic that was discussed was linen. (Well and her choice underware - sharkskin gray thong, vs not wearing any with those shorts.) Favorite part of the story: We’re pretty sure her grandparents were at the restaurant as well.  I know I love to wear tiny see through linen shorts when hanging out with my grandparents…

Moral of the story friends: don’t wear thin white linen. And don’t be a horrible person.