It's a beautiful thing. History shows that Cleopatra (and women and men presumably before her) worn eyeliner smudged on their lids. And as we know, when worn, it makes the roots of our eyelashes look thick - added with good black mascara (yes, black and only black - but that's for another time) out eyelashes themselves look thicker and longer. Which we, as a society, have long since decided, thicker eyelashes make you pretty. Or at least gives you that certain "je nes sa qua". Why? I don't know, I wasn't there for that meeting (though I would have enjoyed an invite), trite but true, it just is what it is.
Back to the topic at hand: eyeliner, and how, my friends, to apply it.
I rarely wear black. Though I have dark hair, dark eyes, and dark lashes, black eyeliner just seems so severe. So, I wear dark brown, dark green, or even dark plum (when feeling festive). If I had blue, like all the other women in my family, I'd probably rock navy. Obviously, there is a theme. Dark, saturated colors - that's aren't intense. Subtle. Black, for me is only worn on nights our when I need to look, let's be frank, a little trashy (you know those nights).
When applying, there are a few schools of thought on how to get the perfect line. Some pull their eyelid down or to the side, some make a big, fat line, while others make tiny little strokes to create a perfectly imperfect line.
To get the most out of your wear, I use the less is more approach during the day, using a mix of stabilizing my eyelid (but not pulling in any direction) and getting the pencil as close to the lash as possible. I make a line, and fill in any lower parts I missed, but keeping it thin. At night, that's a different story. I gladly wear a little extra. But my rule, I NEVER put eyeliner on the bottom. It's never thin enough, and no one's natural eye looks like that. And what's more, the liner will eventually smudge and you'll look like a crazy raccoon hooker.
Raccoon hookers are not attractive.
But I hope you knew that. Yes, I understand the lovely Middleton sisters line their bottom lashes, but let's be honest, their make up looks a little heavy. And the key to good makeup is subtlety and enhancing you natural beauty and good features.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
The Morning Traffic Report
During my drive to work this morning, I took notice to a few things that ought to be shared.
1) when coming to a traffic circle, the sign says "yield", not "stop" (I'm talking to you Camry from Michigan.) That's why traffic circles are popular because it keeps traffic moving.
2) when weaving your two-wheeled, motorized razor scooter in and out of traffic, just keep in mind that I'll be snickering at you - mostly because your cigarette dangling from your mouth and your in bizarre, yet innate need to shout at your mobile phone. But, your tiny motorized scooter helps.
3) Heated seats are one of the greatest inventions ever. They are warm, comfortable, and amazing on your back when you've had a long or it's chilly outside.
Drive safe & have a great morning!
1) when coming to a traffic circle, the sign says "yield", not "stop" (I'm talking to you Camry from Michigan.) That's why traffic circles are popular because it keeps traffic moving.
2) when weaving your two-wheeled, motorized razor scooter in and out of traffic, just keep in mind that I'll be snickering at you - mostly because your cigarette dangling from your mouth and your in bizarre, yet innate need to shout at your mobile phone. But, your tiny motorized scooter helps.
3) Heated seats are one of the greatest inventions ever. They are warm, comfortable, and amazing on your back when you've had a long or it's chilly outside.
Drive safe & have a great morning!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Have You Tried... Spin Pins?
As you might remember a few days ago, I did a post on easy up dos (for holidays and otherwise) and I rambled on and on about the goody spin pin. And as many of you know, when I find something that is life changing, I'm not afraid to tell anyone (even people in public bathrooms) about how amazing my find is. In my not so humble opinion, I think the spin pin is one of the best inventions to come out of the 2000's thus far. Literally, my list goes:
1) iPod
2) iPhone
3) Spin Pin
Let me tell you about these genius little guys I won't leave home without. They are about the size of my pinky, maybe smaller and go in a spiral design. They come in (a far as I know) three colors, blonde, light brown, and dark brown to blend with your hair. Here is where it gets good: a spin pin is supposed to have the same amount of hold as 20, yes 20 bobby pins. (Maybe that's why bobbies never do a good enough job, since you've got to use more than 20). And, did you know the best way to use bobby pins are to crisscross them? Let me say, if you crisscross your spin pins, your hair won't be going anywhere.
And really, what more could you want in an up do?
1) iPod
2) iPhone
3) Spin Pin
Let me tell you about these genius little guys I won't leave home without. They are about the size of my pinky, maybe smaller and go in a spiral design. They come in (a far as I know) three colors, blonde, light brown, and dark brown to blend with your hair. Here is where it gets good: a spin pin is supposed to have the same amount of hold as 20, yes 20 bobby pins. (Maybe that's why bobbies never do a good enough job, since you've got to use more than 20). And, did you know the best way to use bobby pins are to crisscross them? Let me say, if you crisscross your spin pins, your hair won't be going anywhere.
And really, what more could you want in an up do?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Letter to the Editor: Little Black Booties
Dear Nattiest Natalie I know:
Now that temperatures are dropping my flats and heels no longer do a good job of keeping my feet warm, I realize I need to get a few pairs of boots. But, I'm a little lost, what height works best? How should they fit on the calf? And what color would I get the most use out of?
From Vegan & Fabulous in North Carolina
Hey V&F!
First, let me tell you, one of my very best friends had a similar question a few years ago and googled "little black booties". Unfortunately, she didn't get to see shoes. And I'm fairly certain the rest of us have been to scared to try again, for fear of lifelong visual scarring.
I love boots in winter, as you know. And there are tons of options (including Vegan!), so let's sort through them. Here are the four heights of boots and how to wear them.
Ankle aka The Bootie - these are possibly the most versatile of all boots, since they can easily be worn with dresses/skirts or pants (that weird and obvious line of where your high boots come to under your pants is something to be avoided at all costs.) Generally, I've incorporated this into my wardrobe with with darker colors, like plum, black or gray. Leather, suede, pleather, it doesn't matter. Always with a heel (otherwise you run the risk of looking like Peter Pan). I love them all, except for one. There is one ankle boot that raises about two inches, just above you ankle bone. The granny boot. You can tell this boot apart from others, because you put it one and suddenly feel like a schoolmarm. These boots, pretending to be ankle boots are to be worn under pants and ONLY that way. If they are something you like, dress with intention. They can be amazing on some and terrible on most.
Mid-Calf - these guys are rare, mostly for the reason they look like the schizophrenic cousin of the schoolmarm boot. Or a majorette boot. Neither of which are entirely desirable. What is best in mid-calf is the cowboy boot. A great boot to wear with jeans (where did you think "boot cut" got it's name?) or any skirt you want to add an eccentric flair to. I think every closet should have a pair of. Cowboy boots, if not for the versatility also, the flair they add to any outfit is so fun.
Knee High - the classic go-go boot. Even though no one calls them by that name anymore. I bought my first pair at 14 in Venice Beach, Ca (weird, I know) and have owned at least one pair ever since. The key to a good knee high boot is the calf. They should fit well, obviously. Not so tight it looks like your leg is baking out of the boot, but not so loose they look like you could fit a small animal in there with you. Thankfully, a good cobbler can resize your boot calf, and generally for a fairly cheap price. My rule of thumb with boots: if they are flat boots, I usually wear a riding style (which angle up on the side) and I keep the calves well fitted. With heels tall boots, I prefer a stacked wooden heel to a stiletto for stability (as well as a conscious effort to try to dress down my outfit, since I'm always a little over dressed) and a bit of a looser calf. For colors of boots, just about anything goes. I recommend a heeled black and a flat brown or tan for starters (with the thought of wearing black & darker colors at night & lighter and less severe colors in the day). These work over jeans and with dresses. You'll find they go with so much, once you get a pair or two.
Over The Knee - hands down, the most risky boot. This height is not for everyone. Obviously, what comes to mind, when you think of an over the knee boot, is Pretty Woman. Personally when I go out, I don't want someone to wonder if I'm there with a group or there to make some money. With that thought in mind, I have a pair of black leather over the knee boots that are flat. They are convertible, so I can roll the knee down, slouch them, or even have them stand up straight - depending on who I'm with and where we're going. I recommend only wearing pants with these - again, Pretty Woman. And if you're brave enough to get them with a heel, be conscious of where you are.
I hope that helps give you an idea of boots, V&F! If there aren't a lot of good places to pick up boots, I recommend, zappos.com, endless.com, and piperlime.com. You'll be able to find boots in all shapes, sizes, colors, textures, and materials. Happy hunting!!!
Now that temperatures are dropping my flats and heels no longer do a good job of keeping my feet warm, I realize I need to get a few pairs of boots. But, I'm a little lost, what height works best? How should they fit on the calf? And what color would I get the most use out of?
From Vegan & Fabulous in North Carolina
Hey V&F!
First, let me tell you, one of my very best friends had a similar question a few years ago and googled "little black booties". Unfortunately, she didn't get to see shoes. And I'm fairly certain the rest of us have been to scared to try again, for fear of lifelong visual scarring.
I love boots in winter, as you know. And there are tons of options (including Vegan!), so let's sort through them. Here are the four heights of boots and how to wear them.
Ankle aka The Bootie - these are possibly the most versatile of all boots, since they can easily be worn with dresses/skirts or pants (that weird and obvious line of where your high boots come to under your pants is something to be avoided at all costs.) Generally, I've incorporated this into my wardrobe with with darker colors, like plum, black or gray. Leather, suede, pleather, it doesn't matter. Always with a heel (otherwise you run the risk of looking like Peter Pan). I love them all, except for one. There is one ankle boot that raises about two inches, just above you ankle bone. The granny boot. You can tell this boot apart from others, because you put it one and suddenly feel like a schoolmarm. These boots, pretending to be ankle boots are to be worn under pants and ONLY that way. If they are something you like, dress with intention. They can be amazing on some and terrible on most.
Mid-Calf - these guys are rare, mostly for the reason they look like the schizophrenic cousin of the schoolmarm boot. Or a majorette boot. Neither of which are entirely desirable. What is best in mid-calf is the cowboy boot. A great boot to wear with jeans (where did you think "boot cut" got it's name?) or any skirt you want to add an eccentric flair to. I think every closet should have a pair of. Cowboy boots, if not for the versatility also, the flair they add to any outfit is so fun.
Knee High - the classic go-go boot. Even though no one calls them by that name anymore. I bought my first pair at 14 in Venice Beach, Ca (weird, I know) and have owned at least one pair ever since. The key to a good knee high boot is the calf. They should fit well, obviously. Not so tight it looks like your leg is baking out of the boot, but not so loose they look like you could fit a small animal in there with you. Thankfully, a good cobbler can resize your boot calf, and generally for a fairly cheap price. My rule of thumb with boots: if they are flat boots, I usually wear a riding style (which angle up on the side) and I keep the calves well fitted. With heels tall boots, I prefer a stacked wooden heel to a stiletto for stability (as well as a conscious effort to try to dress down my outfit, since I'm always a little over dressed) and a bit of a looser calf. For colors of boots, just about anything goes. I recommend a heeled black and a flat brown or tan for starters (with the thought of wearing black & darker colors at night & lighter and less severe colors in the day). These work over jeans and with dresses. You'll find they go with so much, once you get a pair or two.
Over The Knee - hands down, the most risky boot. This height is not for everyone. Obviously, what comes to mind, when you think of an over the knee boot, is Pretty Woman. Personally when I go out, I don't want someone to wonder if I'm there with a group or there to make some money. With that thought in mind, I have a pair of black leather over the knee boots that are flat. They are convertible, so I can roll the knee down, slouch them, or even have them stand up straight - depending on who I'm with and where we're going. I recommend only wearing pants with these - again, Pretty Woman. And if you're brave enough to get them with a heel, be conscious of where you are.
I hope that helps give you an idea of boots, V&F! If there aren't a lot of good places to pick up boots, I recommend, zappos.com, endless.com, and piperlime.com. You'll be able to find boots in all shapes, sizes, colors, textures, and materials. Happy hunting!!!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
What to Wear: Thanksgiving Long Weekend Edition
As we know, the beginning of the holiday season is around the corner... you didn't? Then you should probably start reading my blog more often! Sorry, before I so rudely interrupted myself, the holiday season is coming up. And I, like so many other America's will be traveling this weekend. Being from town that is generally warm year round, this weekend's impending trip will take me to a place where it actually gets cold!
As we know, preparing for a trip, the first plan of action is to check the weather. My trip looks like we're going to have highs in the low to mid 70s during the day, and the low 50s at night. Yes, you northerners - this is cold weather. Or really perfect weather!
Here's what the trip looks like - as always, with outfit plans
Wednesday night traveling: Obviously I'll wear something really comfortable, because, let's be honest here, I'll probably sleep most of the way. Non jean denim cut pants, a boyfriend t-shirt, a cardigan, fancy flats, scarf (duh!) and my obligatory giant travel bag.
Thursday: Thanksgiving. This might be my hardest day, we'll be outside for most of the day and with mid 70 degree weather it could get warm. But it will be a bit chilly in the mornings. I'm thinking corduroys, chocolate brown riding boots, a button down (can roll sleeves up or down), and a cable knit sweater. Add in a dash of pearls and maybe a headband for a bit of that Norman Rockwell, All-American feel we all so desperately strive for that seems appropriate on Thanksgiving. I'll pack a t-shirt in my bag for the day - just in case a quick change is needed.
Friday: Shopping? Probably/Hopefully not (Black Friday isn't my favorite - but that's another day and another blog entry) Should be spent running around town, visiting people. Followed by a bit of a reunion with my boyfriends' friends. For the day, my plan is a plaid flannel day dress and a pair of boots - possibly the ones from the day before, but more than likely a pair of bone colored knee highs (because it's terrible for your feet to wear the same shoes two days in a row). Then I'll change into either a dress with black tights and a pair of black booties or jeans and a fancy-ish winter top. Not entirely sure, just yet.
Saturday: Should be spent mostly at a game watching party, so anything supporting my school, Florida State University, will be appropriate. Garnet top & gold earrings maybe? This will be the warmest day of my trip up north, so maybe another dress will do the trick. That night will be the game, so I'll wear jeans and a garnet top and watch my team play their best.
Sunday: Looks like rain. All day. Which makes this the coldest day of my trip. We generally will do brunch and then head back home, so I'll need something decently nice, but also snuggly for a rainy day as well as a long car ride. I'm thinking jeans or corduroys, my fancy flats, a cute plaid shirt and a cardigan - maybe in a bright color, to counteract the gray sky. Do I need to mention a scarf and giant purse?
Saturday, November 19, 2011
As Promised: Easy Up Dos
Let's be honest here for a minute. My blog is mostly boy friendly and I try to keep them in mind when I can, but this morning is for the ladies. Every girl I know, loves to play with her look. Easier than buying a whole new wardrobe every time a whim hits you (a not so secret dream of mine), we at some point in our lives realize we can change our hair. Whether it's getting a new cut, dying it (guilty), or cutting bangs in the bathroom at a bar with your Swiss card/pocketknife (what, just me?) your hair is an easy way to change up your look.
But most of us aren't as willing to do pocketknife cuts or have the best stylist in your hometown (Hi Mom!) at your disposal before work and parties (unless you are a really good planner). With that, I've got a few "go to" up dos that keep my hair at bay and keep me looking festive.
1) The Bun
Sure, we all have seen it a million times, and have worn it nearly as much in ballet class as kids. But, have you done it lately? Depending on how you do it, you can have anything from "I mean business" to "I'm barely even trying to look this fabulous".
What you'll need: two goody spin pins (what, you don't have them? GET THEM NOW! I'm seriously writing about them in a whole blog entry, by themselves, as soon as I'm done with this!), a few bobby pins (just in case you have flyaways), and some good hair spray. Grip your hair into a ponytail, with your non dominant hand, loosely hold the base of your hair. With your dominant hand spin your pony around your hand or fingers, whichever you prefer, until it tightens itself into a bun. Spin your two pins in (I prefer an X, hitting between my roots and the base of the bun), hit it with a shot of hair spray, and you're all done. Keep the bobbies with you just in case you have anything fall out.
Here's where it gets fun. Have you tried a bun at the nape of your neck, maybe wearing pearls that day? How about on the very top of your head, with ballet flats? What about loose on one side, with some big ass, awesome earrings? Don't be afraid to wear your bun all over your head or to wear it super tight or super loose. Play with your variables - there is a reason the bun is a classic.
2) The French Twist
The firs time I saw Ms. Audrey Hepburn does as the delightful Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's, I was inspired. Really by so many things in the movie, but the one that still after 97 million viewings of this movie, is when Holly is getting ready to go see Sally Tomato in Sing-Sing and she puts her hair up in, hands down, the most beautiful french twist I have ever seen, with two pins. Seriously, two freaking pins! If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about, and I'm sure on more than one occasion have tried, yet failed to get this look. (If you haven't failed, call me. Let's discuss. You're my hero. Seriously.)
What you'll need: two goody spin pins (wasn't joking, folks. best. ever.), hair spray, 5 or 6 bobby pins, and a little patience. Pull your hair into a low, tightish ponytail, just a tiny bit above the nape of your neck. With the same hand hold while the other spins motion as the bun, start to twist. Stop as soon as your hair has wound itself together tight and straight right before it would put itself into a bun. Now, with your dominant, formerly twisting hand lay your twisted hair against your head and remove your base hand. Take the base hand and stick your finger on the crown of your head next to the twisted ponytail, with your thumb on the other side, so you can grip it. With your other hand fold your pony around your finger, so the ends are now pointed towards your base. Next, take your now bent ponytail (pony sausage) from the side with your hair ends towards the other side, use an almost rolling motion to fold your pony sausage into your hair. Twist it with the base and with the top of your head. Once you are happy with the tightness, use your base hand to hold the hair, while the other hand maneuvers a spin pin from the bottom up, pretty much parallel with the now hair encased pony sausage. You'll then place the other spin pin from the top going down, though I find a slight diagonal catches and holds the hair best. If you're happy with that (it may take a try or two) next, take your bobbies and stick them in anywhere where a small clump of hair wasn't cooperating. Stick the bobbies into the twist with the hair to hold them down. Once you're pleased, hit it with a shot of hair spray, pack your bobby pins for flyaways and be on your way. Truthfully, it takes less than a minute to do.
3) The Side Curl Ball
I really need to find a better name for this, because it's pretty awesome. I stole it from my college roommate, because in all honesty, it's a show stopper. You will automatically be the girl at the party with the awesome up do. But you wouldn't want that, would you? Oh wait...
What you'll need: A ponytail holder/elastic, a dozen or so bobby pins, a curling iron, and your good hairspray. First, make a side ponytail, and secure it with your ponytail holder. (Thoughtful placement is key here. It's all about aesthetics. If you have a one dress, the side ponytail should go on the other side, for balance.) Starting from the top of the ponytail, take a small group of hair strands and curl them with your curling iron. Then, somewhere between halfway through the strands and 3/4s through move the curl into the base of your bobby pin. Then stick your bobby pin into you head as close to the ponytail holder as you can get, letting the curls stick out, away from your head. Repeat this process until all your hair is curled and pinned to your head, making sure to change the placement of the bobby pin on your strands for different sized stand up curls. Don't be afraid if it looks like a mess to begin with, it WILL turn out great. Once you're done, you should have a side curl ball, with lots of fluffy curls all securely in one fancy area. A little bit of hairspray, and you're done. Takes about 10 minutes and looks AMAZING!
Try these puppies out, and you'll be pleased. And you won't have to do anything drastic, like cut bangs with your pocketknife at a bar...
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Early-ish Morning Tip
Ladies and gentleman, it's time for another addition of our favorite game show, "What's in My Eye!"
Riiiiiight. But in mild seriousness, sans morning cheesy humor - did you know if you've got something in you eye, and can't get it out, all you have to do is blink? Seriously. Just blink rapidly, 5 or 6 times and it will active your tear duct and wash you annoyance out of you eye. Way easier than trying to fish it out (though I love seeing your crazy face in public restrooms) and it also saves your corneas from getting scratched the hell up! Three cheers for sight!
Just a little tip I learned in 7th grade wood shop I thought I should pass along. Yes, I took wood shop in 7th grade... but that's not what we're discussing right now, so leave it!
Have a great day!!!
Riiiiiight. But in mild seriousness, sans morning cheesy humor - did you know if you've got something in you eye, and can't get it out, all you have to do is blink? Seriously. Just blink rapidly, 5 or 6 times and it will active your tear duct and wash you annoyance out of you eye. Way easier than trying to fish it out (though I love seeing your crazy face in public restrooms) and it also saves your corneas from getting scratched the hell up! Three cheers for sight!
Just a little tip I learned in 7th grade wood shop I thought I should pass along. Yes, I took wood shop in 7th grade... but that's not what we're discussing right now, so leave it!
Have a great day!!!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
What to Wear: Holiday Edition
With the holidays coming up, it means one thing! No, not eating until you burst (okay, it might)... it means holiday parties! And as we know these parties are an integral part of the season - there is mingling with coworkers, visiting family, visiting your significant others family, meeting new people, looking awesome in case you run into a crush, and looking even more awesome if you run into an ex.
No pressure people!
Okay, here's an easy guide on what to wear during your festive shindigs:
Thanksgiving: Most gatherings are fairly casual, but it is an important day of reflection, giving, and sharing - so don't be afraid to dress up a bit
- Men: Jeans and a button down are a great option. Don't be afraid to try denim cut pants that aren't jeans - khaki, pinstripe, moleskin are great options
- Women: Jeans and a fancy tops are great. If things are more casual, a turtleneck with a statement necklace is perfect. Stick with flats.
Work Holiday Party: Whether you hand out with your coworkers regularly or it's going to be super awkward to see everyone out of business casual, these are pretty easy. Stick with your office dress code, but make it a bit nicer. Feel free to wear the same thing straight from work...
- M: Jeans or work pants with a nicer top - unless you wear a suit. Then just take off the jacket.
- W: Tweed pants, pencil skirt - still dressy for work (you want to stay withing the work dress code) but add a little something to add some holiday spirit. Fancy earrings or quickly pull your hair down from your more formal look.
Holiday Party with Family: You always want to dress up a little with Grandma and family you haven't seen. Especially for those of us who are unmarried - the constant "why aren't you married?" it never hurts to reinforce that, "even though I'm not married, doesn't mean that I can't take care of myself." For those of you who are married, you're lucky to not get the married question - but I'm sure you get the "when are you having kids?" which is a whole different animal. And a whole different blog entry.
- M: Nice pants, button down, loafers, and maybe a blazer or man cardigan. If it's a little hot, roll up your sleeves.
- W: Dress, black tights, and any piece of family jewelry that was passed down to you or recently given to you.
Holiday Dinner Party: These are generally with pretty good friends, so you can judge what kind of party it's going to be, from the host (and don't forget to offer to bring a dish!!!!)
- M: Jeans, button down, tie or cardigan. Something nice, casual, but has a bit of "dressy" mixed in.
- W: Dress and chunky sweater, ideally belted. Consider an sloppy bun or loose up do - undone dressy.
Inevitable Hometown High School Reunion: As we all know, these happen every time you head back to your home town and get together with friends. Chances are someone called someone called someone and everyone is meeting up together.
- M: Go for jeans and a polo or denim cut non denim and a henley or plaid button down. Funky tennis shoes - essentially you're going for a pretty young look but cool look (since you'll be at a bar anyway)
- W: Wear heels. Trust me. As we know, your legs always look better in heels - and besides, You'll want to keep an eye on everyone and every inch you can get, is worth it. Heeled boots - even better! My style preference involves skinny jeans and drapey top exposing skin or some sort of well fitting sweater dress. It says, "yes it's winter, but I look awesome!"
Big Holiday Party: There are always tons of these every year. Some have themes (ugly Christmas sweaters) and some don't. There will be food, drinks, mingling, music, and quite possibly a white elephant. If you want to be the person in a crazy Santa outfit or the guy who shows up with his dick in a box - by all means, be my guest. I believe it's all part of holiday cheer. Just uh... don't take your present off or sit on ANY of my furniture. For those of you who are a little tamer...
- M: Dress pants, button down, blazer or cardigan and tie. Don't be afraid to mix textures or wear chunky cozy sweaters. It will make people who have had some eggnog (or anyone who finds you cute) draw to you and want to touch you.
- W: Time to get out that party dress you've been saving all year round. Red. Awesome. Your favorite black "go to hell" dress - I'm all for it! A fancy skirt and chic top with amazing shoes is a great option too. Go for an up do. I have a few failproof options that I'll tell you about in a few days.
New Years: Let's be honest, my hands down FAVORITE event to dress for, because you can be overdressed, and you really aren't! Sequins, feathers, jeweled adornments, etc. The fancier the better. And unless specified by the host, go for it!
- M: Dark pants, dressy button down, tie, and maybe a leather jacket for outdoor activities.
- W: Let's be honest, you bought this dress months ago. It's dark, it's got crazy cool details, draping, leather, studs, feathers, full sequins... I really can't express it enough. As long as you feel like a million bucks in to, it's your New Year's Dress.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
The Giggle Of Desperation
A few weeks ago, a few girlfriends and I were at an event that didn't have a clear dress code, but a definite theme. Some dressed in full theme (my friends and me, obv), while others were much more casual. Naturally, the overly done people are wondering why no one else wanted to be ridiculous too - but you can see from their stares that they are wondering why you didn't take your meds that afternoon. Awesome. After our obligatory hour and a half, we hastely headed towards a favorite downtown spot for drinks and to find a place for the group to discuss the awkward night - rather than continue to give the crazy wide-eyed "did you just see that?!" or the famous "get me the eff out of here!"
One of the girls brought a date, who mentioned a term that has been a topic of discussion for weeks and weeks: the giggle of desperation. You know what I'm talking about - that weird, high pitched, sometimes mechanical giggle that you get when you get when you are uncomfortable with your current situation. When someone is bringing up an odd topic or you really need to just need to get out of the situation you're in.
There are a few easy things to do to remedy the situation if you or someone you're with make the giggle of desperation. The key is to identify the issue.
- Awkward Personal Moment. If you're at a party, pop over to the food table to pick up something delicious and a new conversation. Or look for another person you know and join the conversation. It's mingling. Out of desperation. If you're at a bar with friends, make a bathroom trip or go to bar to grab another drink. Chances are, by the time you're back, whatever is making things weird will have corrected itself.
- Weird Topic. Change the subject. Feel free. I'm betting more than one person will be happy you did.
- I Need To Read More Moment. When there is something being discussed which you aren't well versed in, if you can learn something and the topic interests you, stay, ask questions, learn something. If the topic is offensive or something you are completely uninterested in, excuse yourself from the conversation or wait patiently until the subject changes. It's more than okay to not be the person leading the conversation.
- Group Clinger. Sometimes there is one person who is making everything weird. And they aren't with you. They won't get the hint to leave you alone - that's when the WHOLE group will agree on an unspoken move, whether moving outside to the patio or to a different floor or to a whole different location.
- Irritating/Ridiculous Person. Sometimes, there is one person, amongst your group who is making things weird. And everyone is really into them - or maybe they really aren't. There are a options here too. You can fake sick or tired or remember an early appointment and get the eff out of dodge. No shame in running from the weird. But, if you're looking to deal either your issues, sometimes just trading places with someone in a group chat circle and fix the awkward. You can change the subject or wait out the awkward to see if it subsides. If that doesn't work, feel free to make conversation with one or two other people.
Keep these in mind, and the giggle of desperation will likely occur a lot less. And be sure to keep an ear out if you're with someone who makes it - because there are few things better than a friend who can get you out of an awkward situation.
One of the girls brought a date, who mentioned a term that has been a topic of discussion for weeks and weeks: the giggle of desperation. You know what I'm talking about - that weird, high pitched, sometimes mechanical giggle that you get when you get when you are uncomfortable with your current situation. When someone is bringing up an odd topic or you really need to just need to get out of the situation you're in.
There are a few easy things to do to remedy the situation if you or someone you're with make the giggle of desperation. The key is to identify the issue.
- Awkward Personal Moment. If you're at a party, pop over to the food table to pick up something delicious and a new conversation. Or look for another person you know and join the conversation. It's mingling. Out of desperation. If you're at a bar with friends, make a bathroom trip or go to bar to grab another drink. Chances are, by the time you're back, whatever is making things weird will have corrected itself.
- Weird Topic. Change the subject. Feel free. I'm betting more than one person will be happy you did.
- I Need To Read More Moment. When there is something being discussed which you aren't well versed in, if you can learn something and the topic interests you, stay, ask questions, learn something. If the topic is offensive or something you are completely uninterested in, excuse yourself from the conversation or wait patiently until the subject changes. It's more than okay to not be the person leading the conversation.
- Group Clinger. Sometimes there is one person who is making everything weird. And they aren't with you. They won't get the hint to leave you alone - that's when the WHOLE group will agree on an unspoken move, whether moving outside to the patio or to a different floor or to a whole different location.
- Irritating/Ridiculous Person. Sometimes, there is one person, amongst your group who is making things weird. And everyone is really into them - or maybe they really aren't. There are a options here too. You can fake sick or tired or remember an early appointment and get the eff out of dodge. No shame in running from the weird. But, if you're looking to deal either your issues, sometimes just trading places with someone in a group chat circle and fix the awkward. You can change the subject or wait out the awkward to see if it subsides. If that doesn't work, feel free to make conversation with one or two other people.
Keep these in mind, and the giggle of desperation will likely occur a lot less. And be sure to keep an ear out if you're with someone who makes it - because there are few things better than a friend who can get you out of an awkward situation.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
For the record...
I'm pretty sure they have mirrors behind bars, not to show off the pretty bottles, but to give warnings of "stage 5 clingers."
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Holiday Feeding Time
With the holidays coming up, we'll be faced with the inevitable buffet. As someone who enjoys eating and doing things efficiently these can be either my greatest joy or a huge, frustrating mess. Let's be honest, everyone grab a plate and grab some food. You do it right, don't linger too long, everyone gets to try everything and eat at relatively the same time. You do it wrong and someone is waiting and waiting and waiting... there isn't enough food, people can't eat together, and someone's food is inevitably cold. Boo!
Here are a few things to keep in mind when dealing with holiday smorgasbords:
- Take one helping, and only one. After all, it is a buffet, so you can always go back for more.
- If you are waiting behind a slow picker, look at the dish and plan what you'll take, so as to not take more time.
- Don't be pushy if someone is slow in front of you. Wait you turn & enjoy the company of those around you... Or just ask if you can skip ahead of them (they'll either say yes or speed right up)
- Don't be afraid to let someone elderly or who needs assistance go in front of you. They may slow down the line, but you can always help hold their plate and serve them. And I promise, they'll be entertaining and give you some delicious tips.
- If you find someone getting a little aggressive behind you, feel free to invite them to jump ahead of you.
- Remember, buffets aren't always about food - company is pretty important. Lots of holiday flirting can happen over Swedish meatballs and giant bowls of salad.
- As a believer of the "never take the last" policy, my only exception is during a buffet. And only if you're the very last in line. At that point, if your final serving is the last, take the last.
The key to getting your chow on buffet style, my friends, is decisiveness. Figure out what you want and go for it. Chat with everyone, don't be greedy, and enjoy your meal is festive merriment!
Here are a few things to keep in mind when dealing with holiday smorgasbords:
- Take one helping, and only one. After all, it is a buffet, so you can always go back for more.
- If you are waiting behind a slow picker, look at the dish and plan what you'll take, so as to not take more time.
- Don't be pushy if someone is slow in front of you. Wait you turn & enjoy the company of those around you... Or just ask if you can skip ahead of them (they'll either say yes or speed right up)
- Don't be afraid to let someone elderly or who needs assistance go in front of you. They may slow down the line, but you can always help hold their plate and serve them. And I promise, they'll be entertaining and give you some delicious tips.
- If you find someone getting a little aggressive behind you, feel free to invite them to jump ahead of you.
- Remember, buffets aren't always about food - company is pretty important. Lots of holiday flirting can happen over Swedish meatballs and giant bowls of salad.
- As a believer of the "never take the last" policy, my only exception is during a buffet. And only if you're the very last in line. At that point, if your final serving is the last, take the last.
The key to getting your chow on buffet style, my friends, is decisiveness. Figure out what you want and go for it. Chat with everyone, don't be greedy, and enjoy your meal is festive merriment!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Finally!!!
As some of you may remember, I posted about how I can't find a nail salon that I like and how I'll happily find a great bottle of nail polish and paint my nails myself.
Well, my friends, I finally found a salon that I love! And here's why!
1) Great color choices - I wasn't overwhelemed by the amount of choices, they had a medium size collection of all the best colors - and no weird extras (There don't need to be 32 shades of blue. I promise. Not that many want smurf fingers.)
2) They gave me the classic up-sell (for a aromatherapy pedicure) but weren't pushy when I said "No, Thank you."
3) I was given good directions of when to go to the manicure table, rather than try to figure out where my nail person went and then grab my bag and try to waddle in their direction...
4) Once my hands were massaged and my nails were cleaned up, before my polish - I was given the choice to pay then. BEFORE my polish went on. So there wasn't that terrible moment of trying to grab my cash or a card and worry that I'm screwing up my nails.
5) My absolute favorite part: As I was sitting under the fans and heated light dryer thingy, I was given a massage. Holy crap. It was AMAZING!!!!
Great job on the nails, on the massages (calves, feet, arms, hands, neck and shoulders - with extra attention to the balls of my feet, because she noticed I enjoyed it), and the best part, they gave me a punch card! 10 services at this salon, and I get a FREE manicure. And as we know, I'm a sucker for free! So great!
Well, my friends, I finally found a salon that I love! And here's why!
1) Great color choices - I wasn't overwhelemed by the amount of choices, they had a medium size collection of all the best colors - and no weird extras (There don't need to be 32 shades of blue. I promise. Not that many want smurf fingers.)
2) They gave me the classic up-sell (for a aromatherapy pedicure) but weren't pushy when I said "No, Thank you."
3) I was given good directions of when to go to the manicure table, rather than try to figure out where my nail person went and then grab my bag and try to waddle in their direction...
4) Once my hands were massaged and my nails were cleaned up, before my polish - I was given the choice to pay then. BEFORE my polish went on. So there wasn't that terrible moment of trying to grab my cash or a card and worry that I'm screwing up my nails.
5) My absolute favorite part: As I was sitting under the fans and heated light dryer thingy, I was given a massage. Holy crap. It was AMAZING!!!!
Great job on the nails, on the massages (calves, feet, arms, hands, neck and shoulders - with extra attention to the balls of my feet, because she noticed I enjoyed it), and the best part, they gave me a punch card! 10 services at this salon, and I get a FREE manicure. And as we know, I'm a sucker for free! So great!
An Unfortunate Tale...
I was getting gas this evening, and I saw a woman wearing the most unfortunate pants. No, I take that back, let's start over. I was getting gas this evening and I couldn't help but stare at this massively wide bottom sticking out of car door. As this desperately unaware woman entranced me with her massively large backside, I couldn't help but think to myself, "what terrible jeans!" "Why do stores sell things like that, at least they are dark wash." "Oh God! Look at her stand, that crotch is insane!" (hahaha Michael Kors on Project Runway) "ohmigawd! they are navy blue scrubs."
So, let's discuss scrubs. I don't work in the medical field, but I have clients who do. And I, as always, have a lot of opinions on this (like every other) subject.
1) Scrubs are meant for comfort. At your job. As a surgeon. So do me and everyone else a favor and only wear them at work. There are lockers for a reason.
2) You're not a surgeon/doctor/nurse? Don't wear scrubs. I don't care how comfy they feel, you shouldn't wear them out running errands. If you do own them (which is frankly, a little odd) don't wear them outside of your home.
3) Scrubs are unflattering. For women: they are always too long, they are cut to make you butt look huge, they are are too snug around the waist, and give you uniboob. If you're a guy, they make your legs look short, and the top cuts off as an awkward angle that points directly to the fact that you aren't wearing anything under your pants and are flopping around.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Vinegar vs. Honey. An epic debate.
As they say, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Not sure who "they" are or why you want to catch flies...
But seriously, it's true. Things always seem to work out better when you're nicer. People are friendly and willing to give and share more, and with a happier disposition, I'll bet you at too. Have you ever notice that on the proverbial bad day, you're pissed off and everyone seems to be making to worse? Psst - I bet you're adding to the issue. Juuuuust a little bit. I know I sure do.
Here's my plan: next time I'm having a bad day, I'm going to stop, adjust my attitude and start with a happy thought. I'll think of a few things that make me happy or are going well, then I'm going to say something nice to someone, dammit! I think we can both guess what's going to happen.
And anyway, isn't the point of etiquette to make others around you more comfortable. I'm pretty sure changing your grumpy disposition would fall under that category, huh?
Okay, so maybe I'm "they" or... "them".
But seriously, it's true. Things always seem to work out better when you're nicer. People are friendly and willing to give and share more, and with a happier disposition, I'll bet you at too. Have you ever notice that on the proverbial bad day, you're pissed off and everyone seems to be making to worse? Psst - I bet you're adding to the issue. Juuuuust a little bit. I know I sure do.
Here's my plan: next time I'm having a bad day, I'm going to stop, adjust my attitude and start with a happy thought. I'll think of a few things that make me happy or are going well, then I'm going to say something nice to someone, dammit! I think we can both guess what's going to happen.
And anyway, isn't the point of etiquette to make others around you more comfortable. I'm pretty sure changing your grumpy disposition would fall under that category, huh?
Okay, so maybe I'm "they" or... "them".
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Samuari Melonade
The Samurai Melonade is a delicious drink I found at a sushi restaurant in college and have been making them for parties ever since!
Here's what you'll need:
Bacardi Lemone (or any lemon flavored or infused rum)
Watermelon Pucker
Lemonade
One big ass pitcher
I have two recipes, one for more relaxing parties - and one for a little more trouble (the original recipe)
My cooled down version:
- 1/4 of the pitcher of rum
- 1/4 of the pitcher of pucker
- Fill the rest of the pitcher with lemonade.
- Stir & serve over ice
The true version, for a little more trouble
- 1/3 of rum
- 1/3 of pucker
- 1/3 of lemonade
- Serve over ice and go crazy.
Herb Crusted Fish in White Wine Tomato Sauce
Yum!!! This is one of my favorite recipes - and it's so easy. And I promise that everyone who has it will be convinced you are the best cook around!
Here's what you need (to feed 4):
4 white fish fillets (I use tilapia or halibut - whichever is on sale at the grocery that week)
2 medium size tomatoes (diced) or 1 can of diced tomatoes (for those of you who are semi-homemaders)
Fresh basil (about 8 to 10 leaves)
Fresh parsley (a handful or so of leaves)
1 cup of dry white wine
Cooking oil or butter
Salt & Pepper
1) Rinse your fillets, pat them dry, then salt & pepper to taste.
2) Chop 2/3 of your basil & parsley, then press the flakes into the flesh of the fish
3) Cook your fish on medium high using your preference of butter or cooking oil - about 3 - 4 minutes on each side.
4) Place cooked fish on a serving dish (though I sometimes use a casserole dish to hold in the sauce)
5) Leave your skillet on medium to medium low and add in the cup of white wine. Use a spatula to scrape the brown bits up and let the wine reduce by a third.
6) Add the last of your herbs and diced tomatoes (strain if using a can) to the white wine. Let these heat through.
7) Put your tomato white wine sauce on your fish - then serve!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Question of the Day
While at work, I took a little mental vacation on our friend Facebook. I noticed a question posted about pregnant women and when to ask them if and when they are expecting. Great question - not so great answers. Most of them were insinuating that someone was pregnant or just some eye rolling. So, I figured I should take a crack at it (since we know I love to share my opinions).
Let me start with my general rule - I don't care if there is a newborn poking out of a woman, never, NEVER, NEVER! ask her if she is pregnant. Ever. Seriously. Because if she isn't pregnant, you basically just told her she looks fat enough to be with child. Hope your toes taste delicious as you try to pull your foot out of your mouth after that. Good luck.
Okay, but seriously, you never want to assume something about someone. Pregnancy can be the greatest joy in someone's life and I promise you, they will tell you all about it. But, sometimes a woman might not want the attention or might be having a difficult issue with their home life where a pregnancy might not want to be discussed. Others may be superstitious and not want to bring it up. Or she isn't pregnant at all or has some baby weight to loose. You can never be sure, so it's a great time to play dumb until someone mentions it to you. As soon as that happens, then you can talk about it until you are a blue in the face.
Sticking with the same note - don't touch a pregnant woman's stomach, unless you ask or are invited to do so. Would you like unwarranted touching? Me either. Coming from someone who hasn't had children, but is surrounded by mothers and pregnancy, your protective instincts are kicking into high gear with your children. I'm pretty sure if you touched a pregnant belly on the wrong day, you'd end up with a broken arm or at least a few broken fingers (and personally, I'd say you'd deserve it.)
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