Hey Guys! Let's Make Cheese!

The Viking and I lurv to go to (and hold) small dinner parties (good food, great friends, and decent wine - is there really anything else as important?) As adults in modern American culture, one always offers to bring a dish or drink, usually I'm bring cupcakes (obvs), but while seeing if I can curb my insatiable sweet tooth, I was perusing the interwebz for something new to make and bring. I have been seeing cheese making kits and "easy" recipes for years, so I figure, why the heck not?

Thanks to my friend and yours, the interwebz, I've found that with 45 minutes and four ingredients (five, if you count water) you can have fresh mozzarella!

Anyway, on to the good stuff! My friends: an introduction to soft cheese making.

Here's what you'll need in your kitchen:
1 Large Stock Pot (should hold over a gallon)
1 Slotted Spoon
1 Digital Thermometer
1 Long Spatula or the like (needs to reach the bottom of your pot)
1 Strainer/Colander
1 Microwave Safe Bowl
Kitchen Rat/Assistant - Optional

Ingredients:
1 1/2 tsp of Citric Acid
1/4 c of Water
1 Gallon of Whole Milk
1/4 tsp of Vegetable Rennet
1 c of Water
1 tsp of salt (rough estimate - salt to taste)

Certainly you can find Citric Acid wherever you can find canning supplies. Rennet is a little more difficult, but is easy enough. A lot of places where you can gets craft beer supplies will carry rennet. If you can find either, live somewhere remote, or just want to do what I did, you can by them here and here.

To begin, measure your citric acid into your stock pot. Add 1/4 c of water to dissolve the acid granules. Then add the milk. Over medium heat, bring your liquid up to 90 degrees. Your milk might start looking slightly curdled. This is totally normal. (You'll want to do this slowly, so you can control the temp. If the mixture gets too hot, the cheese curds will compact, causing you to have firmer, smaller cheese.)

Remove your pot from your heat source. Measure out a cup of water and add the rennet in the same
measuring cup. Then add it to your milky mixture. Stir swiftly for 30 seconds. Slow the motion to a stop with your spoon.

Let the milky mixture sit for five minutes.

You have now created Little Miss Muffett's BFF: Curds and Whey. The curds are the white part and the slightly yellowed water is whey - which is FULL of protein.

Once your five minutes are up, grab your long handed spatula-esk tool. Make a grid of your now slightly solid milky mixture. Return your pot to the heat. Heat the whey up to 115 degrees. Again, slowly to control your temperature.

Once you reach your desired temp, remove your pot from its heat source. Using your slotted spoon, separate your curds into your strainer (which can be placed over your microwave safe bowl).

You now have a HUGE decision to make. Okay, not really huge, but you do have a fun decision. At this point, you can dump your whey and get that giant pot out of your cooking space. OR, you can save your whey and use it for cooking, or baking. I've heard you can use the whey for an additive to baked goods, though I don't currently have a recipe for you, since I am TERRIBLE at yeast cooking. Though I intend to get better at it... and then blog about it.





Back to the Cheese:

Shake your strainer and remove as much excess whey as you can. Dump the whey from your microwave safe bowl. Put the almost cheese into the bowl and heat it on high for one minute in your microwave.

When it comes out it will be super hot, but start to look a little smooth. Dump the whey from the bowl and pick up your almost cheese. Squeeze it and begin to knead it together.

Return the almost cheese into the microwave safe bowl and heat for 30 seconds on high. Once this is done, pull out your cheese and dump your liquid. Add salt. Again, crazy hot (be careful). Fold the almost cheese together a few times. Pinch off some of the soon to be cheese for a taste. Does it need more salt? Add some in!

Throw it back in the microwave for another 30 seconds. Continue to dump the liquid and knead the cheese. It will actually start to take shape like the picture. If your cheese feels a little lumpy, go ahead and microwave it for 30 seconds again. If you cheese feels super smooth and starts to turn itself into a ball, assist it into the shape. Then put it in an ice bath.

Be patient for 10 minutes.

Now, my friend, you have cheese! Dress it with fresh herbs, olive oil, pesto, balsamic glaze, slice it, add it to pizza, or just take giant chunk out. Mostly, enjoy it!

                               

Dandelion: Greatest Flower Ever

Yeah. I said it. That weed of which people try to rid their yards. The "flower" only appreciated by small children. You may be familiar with some of its work, maybe poking through sidewalks? Yep. That's the one. It's AMAZING.

First, did you know it's leaves make a delightful, bitter salad additive? Schmancy restaurants are starting to feature it. Seriously. 

But we're here to talk about the root. Specifically, the root made into a tea. Have you tried it? I would certainly love to hear your opinions on it. If you haven't, my friend, you are in for a treat. While we all understand the benefits of herbal teas (Sleepy time for anti-stress, what what!), I had not tried dandelion root tea until a few months ago. I had read about some mildly frightening blend of water, tea, and additives that will MAKE YOU SKINNY!!!1!!!1! As we know, I'm a skeptic until I've tried it. And I certainly don't believe in any magic drink, pill, or serum. 

Time and time again, we are shown the only way to lose weight and keep it off it diet and exercise. 

I'm not one for diet or exercise. I try to stay active and not eat cupcakes for every meal. But, all that cupcake eating and cheese making (and obviously eating) can make a gal feel a little gross the next morning. This is where dandelion root tea comes in. 

A cup or two of this magical stuff throughout the day (the box suggests one bag per cup, but to three times a day) and the next morning... Less bloat. Dandelion root apparently helps rid your body of excess water weight. 

This tea isn't going to make your fairy godmother appear out of this air, but it will certainly help you feel better tomorrow (and so will a few veggies).

Spaaaaaaanx And Other Shapewear

No, but seriously. Spanx. Or really any shapewear for that matter. I support it. 

A few months ago, my sweet, little grandma and I went shopping for some party dresses. Some of you may know, even though I've clearly not a dedicated blogger (full time job, family, social life, experimental cooking - stuff gets in my way) that the Viking & I opted to no longer "live in sin". But that's another story, for another time. Today, we're discussing shopping with Grandma!

My grandma had mentioned to me that she wanted to go shopping for something to wear for my wedding and the surrounding festivities (Mmm hmm, festivities, again, another story). So, my grandma, like any living, breathing woman on earth wants to feel great, but has parts of her body she doesn't feel great about. (Good to know that doesn't change, even when you're an 85 year-old Grandma? Nope. Not good.) She and I have been having discussions about healthy eating (lean protein & green veggies!) and positive body image, etc. 

The thing that was really getting her down was that, not only does she not care for the current trends (mind you, my grandma is sassy - red nails, sporty little outfits, and always a nice blazer when going out to eat) but they stuff she does like, is not made for someone with her body type. She is the very definition of petite, with her spiked hair she might juuuuust graze 5 feet. After moving to Florida when I was a kid, she did a radical transformation and lost a ton of weight. Obviously you can see where I'm going with this. When you lose weight, there is always excess skin. And at eighty-something, stuff just doesn't quite sit where it used to. 

Our discussion from food and body image took a path to discussing clothing choices - personally, the older I get, the more traditional my taste gets. Don't get my wrong, I lurv an avant garde statement necklace... But give me a pair of cropped skinnies and some ballet flats, and I feel like Ms. Audrey. 

For grandma, we decided an A line with an empasisized natural waist was the way to go. That way, she could still feel like she was keeping up with the times, but still keep a shape she was used I, but more importantly, was most flattering on her. Everything we picked out, fit into those strict guidelines. As she tried things on, dresses were good - but I knew they could look better. 

Then came the discussion of shapewear. Now, I realize that most people only wear them for special occations - and unless you are a movie star, you don't always have those occations. 

Did you know that in the 1950's, everyone wore shapewear, even men? How else do you think Dior made such gorgeous flower inspired dresses with such tiny waists? (It surely wasn't their diet - sugar was being advertised as a health food!)

Now, I'm happy to write a little disclaimer that having to fit into societies' perceived, yet near unobtainable attractiveness norms for our body shapes and sizes is sexist, chauvinistic bullshit - because it is. Unfortunately, I A) really love how a frilly tutu party press makes me feel inside (like a 4 year old with a spinning dress) and B) Have a job where I have to look professional and see other people - so I can't wear shapeless frocks the color of oatmeal (I mean, I could, but they don't elicit the same spinning response.)

Whew. That was nagging me a little bit. 

The next step in my adventure with Grandma was to approach the topic of shapewear. Was she interested, has she tried it, would she what it? Thankfully, one of the lovely associates in the department store we were patronizing brought us a pair of Spanx to try. 

We wiggled her into those things, little by little. We then picked a wrap dress for her to try. She looked at the mirror and barely even recognized herself. Her posture was improved (her head easily reached the 5 foot mark this time!), the dress skimmed her body, and most importantly, she was comfortable! She told me she felt like she could do anything. It's pretty magical when a woman you love so dearly, who hasn't been feeling that great about herself lately has that ah-ha moment.

Grandma got three new dresses that day. And a body shaper. It was a complete success. 

Now she wants a leather jacket to go with her wrap dress...

Back in the habit?

Yeah... It's been a while. I'm aware. First, let me just throw a little sorry out there, since I've kept you hanging for like, oh, two years. I realize your life don't revolve around my antidotes (and nor should it), but enough of my friends and family have comments about it - I figured it's time to practice that whole "follow through" thing. Needless to say, I took a break to live a little life. I have a suspicion you, my might enjoy a few of my adventures and exploits. 

1) I got a cat. The interwebs clearly needs more cats.

This is Lewis "The Bug" Van Der Kitty. He, like all cats, it entirely too smart for his own good. He also runs my home, like cats are wont to do. And yes... He lets me pet that GIANT, fluffy, spotted tummy. He's apparently also a zombie cat. 

2) Many, if not all of you know, I tried my hand at online dating (my little beach town is a little too small to meet a nice fellow), and met a terribly nice Viking. He may or may not have a Viking helmet. 

3) The Viking came with a dog. So... I now have a dog too. Dogs, in regard to my prior notions, are really pretty great. 

4) said Viking and I got hitched a few months back. 

To those considering it, it's pretty great. I recommend it. With the right person, it's just lovely. 

5) I have made a point to bake weekly (take that, follow through!)

6) I have MASTERED soft cheese making. Friends, if you are a cheese eater... Get excited.

Get ready for an interesting ride, because we're going to hop back on. Now with Instagramming (follow me @nattilynatalie) my antics as well as the sporadic tweet (again @nattilynatalie) here and there. Let's have some fun - more importantly, let's embrace life and ALL it has to offer.