Quite Possibly The Most Annoying Word On The Planet

Déclassé

Ugh. It makes me dry heave just a little.

Déclassé means something that has a "fallen or reduced status". But when said with a pretentious accent (you know what I'm talking about!) it's about three million times worse. I may or may not have been watching an episode of Housewives from Godonlyknowswhere (how is this show STILL on TV? Props to Bravo for not giving up) and the women kept saying something was so "Déclassé". The issue was, only one of them actually said it with the correct accent... the rest of the women kept saying "it's SO de-clASSy". With the most bizarre nasally accent. Sorry ladies, but none of you are in the dirty Jerz, nor are you from there. You sound like trash.

Friends, let's put the proverbial kibosh on this word so it doesn't turn into a verbal epidemic amongst the Lady Cougars in our little town.

Fried Goat Cheese Salad

Last week at dinner and decided I wanted something light to eat. So I ordered a spinach salad... But it wasn't a regular salad. It was a magical salad. It was fresh spinach, a hibiscus infused agave vinaigrette, with mandarin oranges. Yum. But it gets better. On top was inch thick disk of fried goat cheese.

Holy Crap!

For those of you who have never indulged in fried goat cheese.. you are missing out. It's crunchy, savory, fully of flavor, and mixed with the hibiscus infused vinaigrette - how perfect. It was one of those meals that makes you stop and savor the moment. It was heaven.

Well... Excuse You!

Last night, I was out with my usual group of food loving, cheese adoring, trouble making lady friends. For the dinner portion of our evening, we went to a great local restaurant that turns into the local cougar bar on some nights. It's great for people watching, the food is moan worthy, and champagne is $2 (hey ladies' night!) After we finished our meal, we made the inevitable transition to the house music thumping dance floor. This is where the trouble began.

As we sipped out drinks and wiggled to the music, people kept bumping into us. It was not crowded. We had a decent amount of space and people would dance into us or (my favorite) walk in between us. Obviously we realized we were more in the way than not, but every time someone walked in between out conversation or bumped into someone, nary a "excuse me", nor "pardon me" was given.

When did common niceties go away? I'm not okay with this. Truthfully, of I was between someone at the grocery store, I say excuse me. Because it's rude to be in someone's way - when they are talking to someone, looking at or for something, or just generally being in their own personal space.

Next time, take a moment and think to yourself, if it would bother you - it probably bothers someone else. So say excuse me. It covers a whole manner of sins and suddenly your politeness simmers down someone who otherwise might have been ready to snap.

Age Approproate, Part 2: Baby Prostitutes

Okay, I'll admit it, I don't totally get kids these days. 

And yes, I realize that statement alone makes me "out of touch" and roughly about 8,000 years old. But fine, whatever. That's just how it's going to be.

Over the weekend, I was at an event with a few girlfriends and we couldn't help but stare at a poor, misguided child wearing a Barbie pink Herve Leger style bondage dress.  With patent leather white platforms. She was... maybe, MAYBE 14. Did I forget to mention the frosted light pink. I guess I did. From reading by now, I'm sure you know the bigger the "O", the bigger the hoe. It was painful. And I promise I wasn't being a giant bully, nor was I the only one who was shocked. It was the WHOLE crowd. 

Then... I saw her mother. And I understand why she was dressed the way she was. Her mother was severely inappropriate, especially for a daytime, kid friendly event.

As I've said before, the way you look is the first thing people see, something they remember, and the thing they immediately judge you on. Regardless of if their opinion is correct, it happens. As your child's parent/mentor/guardian/protector/common sense, make sure they are giving off the right appearance, as well. 

It makes me wonder, when did it become okay for children to dress overly sexy? I mean, I realize that it happens all the time - just go to any shopping mall in America, or heck, any high school, or middle school for that matter. There will be things that shock and appall all of us. 

Here's my take on the whole thing: My children will look like children. Not mini hookers. They will not wear overly suggestive clothing, too baggy pants, lewd t-shirts, or giant hooker heels. Even if it seems like too big of a fight. But I also don't want them to look like the Brady Bunch or in odd, formal clothing. There are few things that make me more uncomfortable than a little boy at a wedding in shorts, a peter pan collar, and leather buckled t-straps at a wedding. Too formal. Too old fashioned. No thanks. 

Maybe it's because I'm not yet a parent - maybe I have the idea wrong. Though I'm fairly certain this is a battle I won't bend on. Let's make a pact right here, friends. Let's let our kids be kids. Let's allow them to express themselves with tutus, Mohawks, colorful band-aids, and t-shirts that say things like "I do all my own stunts!" I would much rather have the tween child wearing a Justin Beiber t-shirt, than a skin tight leopard print party dress. Wouldn't you? Normal children (regardless of however lame their current teen idol may be) are way better than baby prostitutes.

Earrings... Let's Discuss

Here's the thing, everyone loves a little adornment. Earrings are a spectacular way to make everything you wear brighten up with a little flair. (No, I didn't mean to rhyme there... but when it's so fabulous it works, I embrace it.) There are a ton of different style of earrings, obviously - each with great times to wear them. Today, we'll review the basics.

Studs:

     These pups come in all shapes and sizes. They are identifiable by the post and backing. They are the most versatile and classic. Diamonds, pearls, platinum and gold balls. All classics... all great gifts any girl would love to have. They dress up any outfit with a touch of effortless class. When looking at your collection, I recommend having a basic pair of diamonds (square or round cut) anywhere from 1/4 caret to 2 carets. Any larger and they would be too heavy on your ear (and stretch out your lobe) and look fake! And if you have diamonds, that are real... you don't want people to think they're fake. As for pearls or metal balls, I generally stick to 7 to 8 mm for the size of my head. Obviously, you can rock smaller or larger... whatever you prefer. I have a pair of square platinum studs )they look like I tore them from a punky leather jacket) that I love to wear when I'm a little frilly and need some umph. 

Dangling/Chandelier:

     These are anything that hang from your ear in a dangling fashion... but come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. These are great to dress up any outfit or give an eclectic boho flair. With art deco always coming back in fashion, some of the best danglers are made. Great places to find there are when traveling abroad, at street fairs, and at Forever21 (because who doesn't love a pair of earrings for $3.80?) Mixed media is also something to keep in mind for something fun. Wood, metal, gems, anything lacquered... you get the picture. Dangling in fun colors are sure to add a bit of pop. 

Hoops:

     Tricky tricky tricky. Here's the thing: a nice white gold hoop can be so classy. But as they say, "The bigger the 'O', the bigger the hoe." (Or the bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe... depending on where you get your colloquialisms... though as we know, I like myself a good rhyme.) If you are going to wear hoops, make sure they are of an appropriate size. Nothing hitting your shoulders or anything I could fit my child size wrist through, while you're not looking at me in a bar... which incidentally happens to be one of my favorite drinking games. Let's try to keep those hoops smaller than an inch in a half for the big ones. But small gold hoops at a party, add just the right amount of sass. It's something to consider. 

Okay, so there you go, earrings in a nutshell. Boys, not to hard or confusing, huh? Ladies, maybe you'll add something in you haven't tried in a while!

Nattily

Are you a Jeopardy! genius or an fervent researcher? Wait… you’re neither? So, the question is, do you know what Nattily means?

Natti·ly adv.

in a strikingly neat and trim manner

Neat, trim, and smart; dapper.
[Perhaps variant of obsolete netty, from net, elegant, from Middle English, from Old French; see neat1.]

So, now you know. It all kind of makes sense now, huh?